Does Anyone Hear Me?

How do I know what I am hearing is what I am hearing? And if it is, how do I know what I heard was what I honestly thought it was in the first place? Who am I hearing? Am I talking to myself? Communication with the spirit world is a bit difficult enough to explain as it is. But throwing in a deeper level of communication, difficult is not the word.

When asked to write about my experiences communicating with spirits who are still with us, I thought it would be easy. How do I explain to anyone my ability to communicate with loved ones with Alzheimer’s or dementia? Simple enough, I guess. Until I tried to explain it and put it into words. That is when I realized it is not so easy to do.  But nonetheless I forged forward and was determined to try and help everyone understand how this happens.

Many years ago, I was told by an exceptionally gifted medium that this was a special gift I had and whatever I am doing, keep doing it. The problem was, I did not know what I was doing, or how I was doing it. But after many years of hard work, endless hours of talking to my mentors, and untold days of meditation, I still had no clue. If there were a physiological, neurological, or straight up psychological explanation, that would be easy to find and explain. But this is about tapping into something we clearly do not understand.

My first experience communicating with someone who was still with us physically and who did not have the ability to communicate on their own took me by surprise. I thought this was another normal reading until the client told me the person I named was still alive. So, at that point I did what I usually do when I needed answers, I asked the spirit if she was still with us, and she said YES. Of course, it goes without saying I was a bit taken aback.  I had to ask myself, how could I be connecting to someone still with us physically on this earth? But over the years I have learned not to question the unusual because what I do is so unusual.

As the reading progressed, I focused on the messages the spirit was giving me without letting on that it was her childhood nanny who was still with us. Discretion is particularly important in a reading.  Sometimes things cannot be shared but will become known sometime after the reading for the client.  The spirit mentioned the client’s mother as well as another family member but was not too specific with who messages were for. To explain, the messages were general in nature. I had several validations, but the reading felt almost generic, or plain.

Then, the spirit made it clear why I had this connection. Although my client had not seen her childhood nanny in many years, she still talked to her often. When the nanny became ill, the nanny moved in with my client’s mother and stayed with her until she passed. The spirit knew her time was coming and needed to talk to my client before she passed on. The spirit would repeat phrases such as “call your mother,” “call your nanny,” and “time is so short.”

Then suddenly, I had to stop. I began to feel a tremendous amount of sadness. It felt as though I was beginning to grieve.  So much so it affected me physically. I felt as though my heart had been broken. The emotion coming through me was immense, and I had difficulty composing myself. I had never felt so sad and felt it in such a physical way as I did at that moment.

My client asked me what I was feeling because she said she saw a sudden physical change in me. This time I had to tell her what I was getting. She asked what it was from, and why I was feeling it so strongly. I did not know how to answer this and told her I did not know. I had to use discretion about what to share with her.

I continued the reading with such a heavy heart. And then I realized what was happening. I knew I had to ask the question but was reluctant because I already knew what the answer would be. But I asked anyway. Are you still with us? She said NO.  In this single, so powerful and defining moment, how do you tell someone that a loved one just passed during a reading? What could I say that would not cause confusion, panic, anxiety, or disbelief?  I resorted to keep the reading as it was, general in nature. The spirit repeated the phrases again to me, “call your mother” and “call your nanny.”  And this is how the reading ended. For several days after this reading, I could not stop thinking about it. Then I received an email. My client sent an email telling me her Nanny had passed away at the time of her reading.

Since this reading I have had several more experiences of connecting with spirits still with us. I cannot explain how or why this happens to me. Neither can others that I have asked why and how. I have learned that when someone has Alzheimer’s or dementia, communication is difficult.  Although to us it seems their ability to reason or think clearly is gone, it is just the physical part that is affected.

As you may guess, hospitals are not my favorite places to be.  I experience so much while in a hospital that there have been times I’ve had to leave.  And when I say leave, I have left and driven far away.  Although it may seem to be something very difficult to deal with and experience, there are times when I don’t have the energy to make the connections I need to.

I have such an extreme devotion to helping others connect to loved ones who have crossed-over.  And knowing that whilst spirits come from everywhere, helping those who cannot speak for themselves while still on this earth brings me such joy.

Explaining how and why this happens just cannot be done. As a medium, I do what I do and do not question. Trying to figure it out and understand why things happen just brings the ego back into it and it makes what I do more difficult. Setting my intentions before a reading brings me closer to connecting with someone specific. But I have no control over it. When a connection such as this happens, it is incredibly special and for a very specific reason. And from my experience with these types of connections, it is about the spirit letting loved ones know they are not going anywhere. It is just as simple as helping family understand, the time has come.